Are you worried about making medical decisions for a loved one’s life-limiting illness?
At PalAssist, we often meet families who fear saying the wrong thing or are unclear about what doctors are telling them.
You need what’s called a goals of care (GOC) conversation. It focuses on what your loved one values most, like comfort, family time, or specific treatments, and makes sure the decisions match their wishes.
So who should be involved in these conversations, and how do you start?
This guide will walk you through who needs to be at the table, what to expect during family meetings, and how to make medical choices that honour your loved one’s wishes.
First, you need to understand who attends these meetings and what to expect from them.
Family Meetings in Palliative Care: Who’s Involved and What to Expect
Family meetings in palliative care bring your loved one (the patient), family, and care team together to discuss treatment choices and goals. These meetings help everyone understand the situation and make decisions together. Let’s look at who attends these meetings and what makes them so helpful.
Who Attends a Family Meeting?
You’ll meet with several different health care professionals during these meetings. Here’s who you can expect at a family meeting:
- Palliative Care Specialists: These doctors or nurses lead the goals of care discussion, explain the end-of-life care plan, and answer any medical questions. Their goal is to keep the conversation open, clear, and supportive.
- Nurses, Social Workers, and Health Professionals: Nurses know what’s needed day to day, and social workers can sort out home care or financial plans. Other professionals may attend if their input supports your loved one’s care.
- Your Loved One and Family Members: Your loved one’s voice is the most valuable here, so they’re invited to join if they can. The team will also include family members they choose to be part of the discussion.
These meetings typically last about an hour. The team reviews medical records beforehand so they can address your family’s specific situation.
Why These Meetings Are So Valuable
A study published in the Journal of Pain and Symptom Management shows that these meetings actually help reduce stress for families. They make sure everyone hears the same information about your loved one’s condition. You also get time to ask questions and clear up any confusion about treatments or medical terms.
Everyone Has a Role to Play
Each person brings something different to the meeting. Once you know who does what, it’ll be easier to follow the conversation.
- Your Loved One: They might share what makes life good for them, what they’re hoping for, or what worries them. The health team listens carefully to understand these values and preferences.
- Family Members: You (as a son, daughter, spouse, or other relative) can explain what your loved one has said before or help clarify their values if they can’t speak easily. You can also ask your own questions and share concerns.
- Health Professionals: They present medical options clearly, share honest information about possible outcomes, and help everyone think through the pros and cons of different paths. Simple tools like pamphlets often come out during these discussions to make complicated medical information easier to digest.
The conversation moves at whatever pace feels right for your family. The team will follow up after the discussion to see how you’re feeling and understand the information.
With everyone’s role clear, the next step will involve making decisions that match what your family member wants from their care.
How Shared Decision Making Helps Families Make Better Medical Decisions
Shared decision-making puts you and your family at the centre of all care choices. Doctors share information about treatment options while you share what’s most important to your family member. Together, you work out the best path forward. Here’s how this process works and what tools can help you through it.
What Is Shared Decision Making?
Shared decision making means making choices together rather than doctors deciding alone. First, the care team will explain the treatment options and possible outcomes. Then, you can share your family member’s values and what they hope for. This back-and-forth helps everyone reach decisions that fit what your loved one truly wants.
What Gets Discussed During These Talks
Several important topics come up in these conversations. The team will start by explaining the current treatment options for managing symptoms or extending life. They will also share evidence about the benefits and harms of each choice, so you understand what to expect realistically.
The conversation will then move to your family member’s goals of care. You might have to consider: do they prefer staying at home over trying every treatment option? Or, is family time more important than frequent hospital stays?
We notice that managing pain is often the patient’s top priority. These personal goals will guide which medical options make the most sense.
Helpful Tools for Better Conversations
Nobody expects you to remember everything discussed in these meetings. You will have evidence-based decision aids like pamphlets or simple guides to compare different options side by side.
If you’re anxious about what to ask your doctor, there are question prompts for that too. We also offer tip sheets that break down complex decisions into manageable steps.
Your Next Steps After a Goals of Care Conversation
How are you feeling after reading all this?
If you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed, that’s completely normal. These conversations about goals of care and shared decision making carry a lot of weight, and feeling unsure or emotional simply means you care deeply about your family member.
Always remember that these choices look different for each person, and that’s exactly how it should be. One person might value independence above all and choose less intensive treatments to stay active. Another might want every available treatment because hope feels important.
But that doesn’t mean you have no right to ask questions or seek advice.
You might think of something days after the meeting, and that’s fine. Write those questions down as they come to you, then ring the palliative care team or bring them to the next appointment.
Pal Assist offers free support seven days a week, from 7 am to 7 pm. We’re here to help you with information, decisions, or support.
Disclaimer
This blog provides general health and product information for educational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, or replace advice from your healthcare professional. Always seek guidance from your GP, nurse, continence advisor, or pharmacist regarding your individual needs. If symptoms persist or you’re unsure about product use, consult a qualified healthcare provider.